9 - 5, falling

It's 32 years this autumn since I started training as a probation officer.  In that time, the job has changed almost out of all recognition.   It's got much tougher and we now expected to deal only with risky (both in terms of potential harm and re-offending) criminals - mainly sex and violent offenders, lifers and domestic abusers.  In short, it's not a lot of fun and the responsibility and accountability are high.  It can be very difficult to switch off away from the office. 

Recently I've been feeling more and more as though I have had enough, and am burnt out.  Things came to a head on Monday when I had an urge to start throwing stuff around the office.  Decidedly uncharacteristic for a mild-mannered man.  I talked to my boss and discussed the options:  either go off sick or reduce my hours and get a decent life/work balance.  And I have opted for the latter.

It feels scary, voluntarily taking a significant pay cut at a time when I should be saving hard for retirement (two-and-a-half years, and counting).  But mixed with the financial anxiety is elation that I will be free of work for 4 whole days each week.  Suddenly the balance is in favour of me rather than the job.

The next bit is sorting out a structure for my days off, and also looking at how I might earn money in a different way.  It suddenly feels exciting and liberating.